Mishnah.org Logo
Perek 3

Mishnayos Kiddushin Perek 3 Mishnah 10

קידושין פרק ג׳ משנה י׳

10
With regard to one who says to a woman: I betrothed you, and she says: You did not betroth me, he is forbidden to her relatives, as his claim that he has betrothed her renders himself forbidden to her relatives. And she is permitted to his relatives, in accordance with her stance that she is not betrothed to him. If she says: You betrothed me, and he says: I did not betroth you, he is permitted to her relatives and she is forbidden to his relatives by the same reasoning. If a man says to a woman: I betrothed you, and she says: You betrothed only my daughter, he is forbidden to the relatives of the older woman, the mother, whom he claims to have betrothed, and the older woman is permitted to his relatives. He is permitted to the relatives of the younger woman, the daughter, as he maintains that he did not betroth her, and the younger woman is permitted to his relatives, since her mother’s statement is insufficient to render her forbidden.

הָאוֹמֵר לְאִשָּׁה, קִדַּשְׁתִּיךְ, וְהִיא אוֹמֶרֶת לֹא קִדַּשְׁתָּנִי, הוּא אָסוּר בִּקְרוֹבוֹתֶיהָ, וְהִיא מֻתֶּרֶת בִּקְרוֹבָיו. הִיא אוֹמֶרֶת קִדַּשְׁתָּנִי וְהוּא אוֹמֵר לֹא קִדַּשְׁתִּיךְ, הוּא מֻתָּר בִּקְרוֹבוֹתֶיהָ, וְהִיא אֲסוּרָה בִקְרוֹבָיו. קִדַּשְׁתִּיךְ, וְהִיא אוֹמֶרֶת לֹא קִדַּשְׁתָּ אֶלָּא בִתִּי, הוּא אָסוּר בִּקְרוֹבוֹת גְּדוֹלָה, וּגְדוֹלָה מֻתֶּרֶת בִּקְרוֹבָיו. הוּא מֻתָּר בִּקְרוֹבוֹת קְטַנָּה, וּקְטַנָּה מֻתֶּרֶת בִּקְרוֹבָיו:

י׳

האומר לאשה קדשתיך וכו' – it is necessary for us to mention the case of when he says, “I have betrothed you,” and [the case] when she says, “you have betrothed me.” For if it (i.e., the Mishnah) [only] taught when he says to the woman: “I have betrothed you,” he is forbidden to her relatives while she is permitted to his relatives, I would think that the law is that she does not make herself forbidden to his relatives, for if he were to tell a lie, as a man doesn’t care [and hence speaks thus] if he forbids himself to her relatives for no reason, and he lies when he says, “I have betrothed you,” even though he has not [in reality] betrothed her, but she, when she states “You have betrothed me,” prohibits herself to the entire world until he gives her a Jewish bill of divorce, for if he had not established this for her, she would not have said it, and through her mouth he would be forbidden to all of her relatives, and even if he gave her a Jewish bill of divorce; this is what it comes to tell us, [that this is not the case]. (see Kiddushin 65a)

קדשתיך והיא אומרת לא קדשת אלא בתי וכו' – because you might think to say that since according to the Torah, the father is believed about his daughter, that the mother would be believed about her daughter, according to the Rabbis, but what it comes to tell us is that she is not believed.

האומר לאשה קדשתיך וכו׳. איצטריך לאשמועינן באומר קדשתיך, ובאומרת קדשתני. דאי אשמועינן באומר לאשה קדשתיך שהוא אסור בקרובותיה והיא מותרת בקרוביו, הוה אמינא דינא הוא דלא מתסרא איהי בקרוביו, דאיהו שקורי קא משקר, דגברא לא איכפת ליה אם אוסר עצמו חנם בקרובותיה, ומשקר ואמר קדשתיך. אע״פ שלא קדשה, אבל איהי כי אמרה קדשתני דאסרה נפשה אכולי עלמא עד שיתן לה גט, אי לאו דקים לה, לא הוה אמרה, ונתסר איהו על פיה בקרובותיה, ואפילו יהב לה גט. קמ״ל:

קדשתיך והיא אומרת לא קדשת אלא בתי וכו׳ משום דהוה סלקא דעתין לומר מאחר שהאב נאמן על בתו מן התורה, תהיה האם נאמנת על בתה מדרבנן, קמ״ל דאינה נאמנת: